Those Pesky Dialogue Tags

Oh those pesky dialogue tags.

Said.

Asked.

Replied.

Responded.

There’s a lot of conflicting information out there on what to use.

What’s a writer to do?

In the multitude of manuscripts I read, I see writers employ such things as “Sally smiled” or “Gerald laughed.” In and of itself, there is nothing wrong with that. The problem arises when the writer uses it as a substitute for “she said” and suddenly the character is constantly smiling or laughing.

Generally, a reader needs to have an identifier every 4-5 lines of dialogue in order to stay on track with who is speaking. So a tag isn’t required every time someone speaks (but I’ve seen writers do just that).

Let’s look at an alternative to the dialogue tag.

Experiencing the Dialogue

Most people don’t stop to think about how much tone of voice and body language reveal about a person’s intent when speaking.

When reading we can’t hear the voice or see the body language. Therefore, the writer must show us. And if the writer fails to do that, then she forces the reader to figure it out for herself—something that may cause her to put the book down if it happens too often.

Let’s look at an example.

“I’m not afraid of you,” Sally said.

“Yes, you are,” Gerald said.

That’s boring. As flat as the page (or screen) it appears on. All I accomplished was to tell my reader who spoke. The reader has no clues as to whether Sally delivered her words with confident boldness or with squeaky fear. Nor do we know if Gerald said his calmly or threateningly.

Now, let’s look at another example.

“I’m not afraid of you.” Sally crossed her arms.

“Yes, you are.” Gerald noticed her bold stance, but the sudden high pitch of her voice told him she was scared. He moved one step closer.

In this example, I’ve accomplished several things: (1) We know Sally and Gerald spoke; (2) Sally’s body language shows us boldness, Gerald’s shows us intimidation; (3) we hear the pitch in Sally’s voice, we sense a calm threat in Gerald’s; and (4) we begin to sense a mood to the scene.

The bonus. We did it without using said. And wasn’t that example dialogue much more thrilling?

Readers want to feel what your characters feel—the fear, the excitement, the euphoria of love, the discouragement of failure. It’s up to us writers to show them via the narrative as well as through dialogue.

Sentences like this during dialogue are called beats, and they help you control the pacing of your scene (the speed with which the scene reads).

When you want your dialogue to move fast, use tags, and only often enough to keep the reader on track. When you want to slow things down, make use of beats.

Beware! Don’t fall into the error of using adverbs with your tag. She said fearfully. He said threateningly. Adverbs have their place, but don’t overuse them.

On the issue of dialogue tags, I am firmly in the “said” camp. Where do you stand and what solutions have you found? Leave your comments below and let’s debate the subject.