Have you ever been reading something and suddenly found yourself lost in pronouns, asking to which “he” is the writer referring?
Pronouns used incorrectly become pesky pronouns to editors. (At least to this editor they do.) The editor is forced to read several more sentences (or paragraphs) to figure out the “he” or “she” to whom the writer refers.
Avoid Pronoun Confusion
A quick grammar lesson will help. I know you cringe at the word grammar but stick with me. You want your manuscript to hit a home run, right? (Maybe you’re thinking you’d just like it to get past first base. But avoid first-base thinking; it’s a surefire way to write a mediocre story.)
If you want the editor to discover your amazing characters and plot, you’ve got to use your pronouns correctly to avoid confusion (and keep the editor reading).
A pronoun refers to someone (or thing), but to whom? The “whom” is grammatically defined as the “antecedent.” Merriam-Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary defines antecedent as “a substantive word, phrase, or clause referred to by a pronoun, typically by a following pronoun.” The antecedent comes before the pronoun (ante is Latin and means “before”).
Let’s look at this definition through examples.
Example 1: Debra (antecedent) is writing about pesky pronouns, but she (pronoun) is uncertain whether anyone will read the post. This is a simple, straightforward sentence. No confusion here about who “she” is. “She” refers to “Debra.”
Example 2: She gave the post a snappy title. Debra hopes it will be a popular post.
You may think that “she” is easily understood to be “Debra,” and when read in isolation like this, that is a logical assumption. But sentences in a book aren’t isolated. This is a case of the pronoun preceding the antecedent. A pronoun fax paus.
Correct construction: Debra gave the post a snappy title. She hopes it will be popular. (What is the second pronoun in these sentences, and what does it refer to?)
When Pronouns Get Pesky
Time to get real. Here’s an excerpt from my WIP that I have intentionally messed up to make my point.
Example 3: Questions bombarded me as I walked to my office at the far west end of the house. For a long quiet moment, I stood looking out over the prairie of the family ranch. Green rolling hills stretched for miles, dotted by our black Angus as they grazed. He had started this ranch with longhorn cattle. We made the switch to Angus when my father took over. I drew in a deep breath, thankful the ranch was still in family hands, then turned and sat down at my desk. Her picture stared up at me. My wife’s ice blue eyes sparkled and the cool morning breeze from the window behind me seemed to tousle her flowing auburn hair across her face.
Are you perfectly clear on the “he” and “her” of this excerpt?
Diving deeper: He had started this ranch with longhorn cattle. We made the switch to Angus when my father took over.
The instant we read “he” we begin to look to the preceding sentences for a clue. But there’s nothing there to tell us. As we read the next sentence we might think that “he” refers to “my father.” But in fact “he” in this case is “great granddad.”
The above sentences are an example of failing to identify your pronoun with its antecedent.
Her picture stared up at me. My wife’s ice blue eyes sparkled and the cool morning breeze from the window behind seemed to tousle her flowing auburn hair across her face.
We find the same confusion with these sentences. There is no female identified prior to the use of “her.” Next we have “My wife’s ice blue eyes sparkled…” One would think “my wife” is standing there in the room. But she isn’t. This is a case of the pronoun preceding its antecedent.
Here’s the same paragraph written correctly.
Questions bombarded me as I walked to my office at the far west end of the house. For a long quiet moment, I stood looking out over the prairie of the family ranch. Green rolling hills stretched for miles, dotted by our black Angus as they grazed. Great-granddad had started this ranch with longhorn cattle. We made the switch to Angus when my father took over. I drew in a deep breath, thankful the ranch was still in family hands, then turned and sat down at my desk. My wife’s picture stared up at me. Her ice blue eyes sparkled and the cool morning breeze from the window behind me seemed to tousle her flowing auburn hair across her face.
More Examples
Example 4: My wife’s picture stared up at me. Her ice blue eyes sparkled and the cool morning breeze from the window behind me seemed to tousle her flowing auburn hair across her face. “Susan, I miss you. You’d know how to handle Leslie. Put in a good word for her up there, will you?” Five excruciating years had passed since her death. Would the ache ever go away?
These sentences identify one of the worst mistakes in pronoun usage—multiple antecedents to choose from. Eenie, meenie, minie, moe. We have both Susan and Leslie, but only “her” in the following sentences.
“Susan, I miss you. You’d know how to handle Leslie. Put in a good word for her up there, will you?” These sentences are correctly written. The “her” referred to is Leslie, and Leslie is the name immediately preceding the pronoun.
Here’s where we get into trouble: Five excruciating years had passed since her death. The previous sentence discussed Leslie, so the reader assumes “her” is once again Leslie. But this isn’t the case. “Her” is Susan. In this situation, you must avoid using the pronoun and refer once again to the correct noun/name before you can use the “her” pronoun again.
The passage correctly written:
My wife’s picture stared up at me. Her ice blue eyes sparkled and the cool morning breeze from the window behind me seemed to tousle her flowing auburn hair across her face. “Susan, I miss you. You’d know how to handle Leslie. Put in a good word for her up there, will you?” Five excruciating years had passed since Susan’s death. Would the ache ever go away?
A Review of Correct Pronoun Usage
- Ensure your pronoun has an antecedent.
- Ensure the antecedent (the specific noun/name) comes before the pronoun.
- When possible multiple antecedents exist, read your sentence carefully and place names/pronouns correctly so there is no confusion.
Do you have a question about pronouns? Put it in the comment box, and I’ll be sure to answer.
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This post would be a good lesson for language arts teachers to use about those pesty pronouns.